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Original Writing Essay As she lay there silently on her back, staring deeply into the intricate yet excruciatingly dull pattern on the textured ceiling- as if it were a piece of fine, overpriced artwork, she let her thought processes wander over exhausted terrain. She thought of life, of death, of love, of hate, of god and everything along the way. What was it all for? She began to scribble a few notes down on a piece of paper in front of her. Her mind began to flutter from one feeling to the next. Im reading all the time of hate and anger and frustration. Im hearing nothing but the pain of others. I see the agony of all around me. And I have felt it, breathed it, been engulfed by it. I understand the need to vent, to get it all out. But I realise now that I can no longer accept it. Blood is on the minds of millions of innocent children, searching for an answer to this emptiness that harbours our death wish. We hold, in our hand, the power to steal but nothing is taken without payment. Give and take, live and let live. No harm done, no penalty. Even the most gentle of beings get judged by the monster. This is no dragon, no giant; this is a group, a society, a network. This monster is sacrificing the happiness of the innocent for suicide. This monster is killing off what may be our last chance. Children beaten down and left to bleed and to cry, they are screaming but no one cares, no one sees them. They are irrelevant, theses children are they are the children of you and yours and people you know. They are outcasts these children are. They are banned from beliefs of any sort of rebellion or belief in other gods. But these children need no god. These children worship themselves. They are good and are portrayed as evil, yet they are shunned and thrown away. Put on display for window shoppers to point and stare and mock. These children are not different, they are not unique. The children are minions banned together to have their freedom. They are slaves to the system. Their innocence is overlooked but ignorant bystanders and administrators. These children are against everything, against god, against the devil, against you, against me. They refuse to worship the nine inch nails of your so called Christ. You will never win! The children will persevere. The children will run free. You will die someday. They will to. They know that in the end we are all alone and youve spent your lives convinced that there is always someone looking out for you and your heretic children. These children know better than you. These children know fate. They know yours and you can sense it. They can smell the fear in your shattered voice. They can smell failure. The innocent children have a blood lust and a hit list I guess this means you will die. Too bad we couldnt save you from the innocent children they killed us too. We are locked inside our minds and we are rotting here now Everything dies she thought, but she still hadnt figured out how to truly live yet. Would her life come to an end before she even knew the answers to all of her questions? It seemed meaningless. Everything seemed that way lately. Her life had become a painful cycle of the same boring events, day after everlasting day. Her friends had begun to slowly detach themselves from her, and it made her question herself. Shed been gone for so long when she moved away, and her world felt wonderful when she had returned to her home, and the people she had taken advantage of before. Theyd all seemed glad to see her, and shed never felt so important. She fell back into her circle of friends and remembered all that she had walked away from. She was happy again, and that was good. One day, it was like the world had shifted suddenly and everything changed. People stopped talking to her. They no longer came by at all odd hours of the night bearing gifts and happy drug-induced smiles. Distancing them. Maybe they all finally came to the conclusion that they hadnt been missing much after all. People tend to romanticize things to a definite fault, and when they realize theyve set themselves up for disappointment, they dont always realize that they themselves are not the only ones being affected by their great epiphany. They sometimes forget the person in the middle of it all, maybe even unintentionally, but without even thinking twice She asked herself what she possibly could have done to turn them away so suddenly. Was it just her character in general? Were some mindless beings getting rushes of power by spreading dirty lies about her as their new form of narrow-minded offence? Were they sick of her already? The fact that she found herself with so few people left to talk to wasnt what bothered her. It was the fact that she was entirely oblivious to the cause of all of this landfill that made her question herself over and over again. The more she thought about it, the wider the possibility grew that they had never really enjoyed her company in the first place; it was all a terrible charade. She hated that she could be that person that people associated themselves with for mere lack of anything at all better to do. Was she that person that they all talked about in her absence, like she had seen them do to others in times passed? Did they avoid her when they saw her in the streets? Were they all two-faced after all? Again, her reasoning began to shift. She wanted no part in any kind of comradeship with a person too shallow to tell her to go away in person. She felt, she knew she was better off by herself. Somehow she felt more at ease in her own company anymore. Shed learned a lot about people in the years prior, and it sickened her to think about what humanity has come down to, how meaningless people have become. She honestly didnt mind not having friends. Of course friends are wonderful to have, but she had found that she became more herself everyday she spent alone, and she liked that. She had come to the abrupt realization long ago that people really arent worth much anymore; definitely not worth wasting your days trying to change or analyze, or even hold a civil open conversation with, for that matter. And again, it all comes back around to the irrelevance of everything. Why had she just wasted her time thinking about these people that she doesnt even like to surround herself with anymore? Since shed returned, everything had changed so dramatically. Her friends were not the same people they had been three years ago, and they never would be again. She knew she could do nothing, and had accepted this fact, but it lingered painfully in the back of the bedlam of a mind she possessed. She wished for simpler times. She began to let her mind jump to other things. Shed tired herself of pondering anything even remotely related her connections with other people, and had come to the conclusion that she was indifferent on the matter. She really couldnt bring herself to care much anymore. If someone desired to speak with her, theyd approach her, and she would listen, but making any sort of an effort to please another person seemed ridiculous to her Meaningless. The past three hours had been meaningless, and so were the thoughts she had spent that time thinking. And now, so were the people that had provoked these very thoughts.